Penultimate

The word is penultimate. The moment just before something ends. The second to last episode or chapter. The feelings you get when you know things are about to end. You chose to take this journey, and it was quite a journey to explore. Little by little knowing the end is coming, and sort of wanting to stop, to go back, not wanting it to end. Episodes turn to seasons, pages into chapters- before you know it, you're almost done. It’s coming to a close.

Then it ends. That feeling. What is it? It's like losing a close friend, a lover. One you got so personal with, sharing all your secrets with, learning all about them, and then they left. Sometimes letting you down slowly, other times without saying goodbye. Emotions in the departure. Looking at the memories over and over again, but it just isn't the same. An emptiness left... until a long awaited nostalgic stumble brings the feelings back once more, a joyful reunion.

She hated the feeling, but loved it all the same. It created a space to share with others. Like a relationship, ‘knowing that like all beautiful things in life, it would come to an end’ one day. Sometimes a fling, and other times a commitment. In the end, a timeline to walk together.

"Do you have plans for the rest of your life?"

Her mother looked up at her father holding her and gently touches her belly, their newborn daughter…

In that grand entrance waiting for a reveal. Elegantly dressed in a stunning white dress that reached down to the floor. White gloves that reached the shoulders. A beautiful necklace and earring. There is a voice. You’ll know. When you see, don’t think, be reckless to do what feels right…

I do.

He wasn’t a rich man, and the only thing he was able to offer her was a dream. It was a pretty but standard ring. But the world he painted for her, and the strength and integrity of his values, was what made her love him. And the longer they were together, the more grandeur it became.

When she was pregnant, he was always there for her. no matter how emotional her hormones made her, no matter how crazy she seemed. Well not too crazy of course. He knew that he had to take care of her. Even before and after the baby, when he found out her time of the month, he was more gentle and kind to her. He cared for her, but made sure to find time to take care of himself. He spoiled her, but he was strict and disciplined. She loved him because of that, he treated her like his queen, but he had enough respect with himself to understand his worth.

He brought her whatever she needed. No matter how wild her hormones was, how she was acting, what she was craving, no matter how crazy it seemed. He kissed her belly. Sitting next to her. Her hair, her breath, her scent. Her legs over his, leaning into him. Watching a film and relaxing in the night. Cuddling. What a feminine word for something possibly enjoyable…