Release

She loved him when they were able to live in simple luxuries, and she loved him him when they were barely able to make it. She always made him feel better, comforting him in sickness, growing closer during times of valley; and when they reached the mountains high, relaxing in happiness and health, enjoying life. She made him at ease, never feeling like she was missing anything so long as she was spending time with him, with her own time alone.

She brought out the masculine side of him and complimented with her feminine side, sometimes exchanging roles briefly, loving him as he was and not for who she hoped he would be, watching as he may become a greater man, in who he strived to be. She was open and receptive in making an effort to him, his family, and his friends. Being proud and grateful in being with him, unafraid to let others know who she was with. And the possibilities was endless, time heightening risks and adventures in the imagination and realities. This was the woman he wanted her to be. But of course, it was reciprocated both ways. To receive what you give.

Her father wrote the book for her mother, before he knew who she was. Because he wanted a place he could go to share his heart, a place where he may give himself some hope of meeting her in this life. He wanted to remember all the things he had felt because it was everything that happened to him that would lead him to her. Sharing with her, the beauty that he saw, in what he saw, and who he saw, with her... because the story changed again and again until finally, the idea of her was done.

All of which were a love that didn't happen. A broken love that led his fate to her. That made him a better man for her.

"Did you dream about getting married when you were young?", he asked.

She laughed, "I did. But I don't know, people change."

It was difficult for her father, her mother was his first love. So when she passed away it devastated him. As her mother laid on the hospital bed. She talked about their daughter and gave advice for when she grows older. She made him laugh. She made him cry. Doctors said she wasn't going to make it. She fought deeply to stay by their side.

She passed away that snowy night. It wasn't until 5 years later did he start dating again. But it was always with different woman, he wasn’t looking for anything serious. Many other women couldn’t compare to the love he had with her. Even as he started dating again and seeing other women, she held a place in his heart. I guess he thought that he would never meet someone like her again, not in this life... Maybe that's the journey of life, that of you and your love, trying to find each other again once more. Each meant to look for one another, trying to find, hoping you would meet again. A feeling of connections. A grand ballroom in the essence of time to dance in. To spend it momentarily, with another. To be lost and found.

"Did you?"

He was silent. "At one point I did. From all I ever remembered my parents were always fighting, divorced, but stayed to keep the family together. To me, it was a place I never wanted to be, if that's where a marriage may go. In my perspective it was taking a step towards hell.

I learned what I didn’t want in a marriage, imagining what I thought would be the heaven, fairytales, and the stories I saw made me believe there was something more.”

"Did you love them?"

"To be honest, I don’t know. What is your definition of love? If it's not being able to stop thinking and missing someone when they're gone- I don't think I've ever felt genuine love. But that didn't mean I didn't care, they were still family. Family means no one gets left behind."

"Ohana...", she said referencing to Lilo & Stitch.

"There was someone I wanted to look after for awhile, to watch grow up. When I left and came back so much had changed and I wasn't a part of it. I learned that to grow and blossom no matter where you are, takes strength. In the end you accept people for who they are, and you try your best, to love and grow with or without them, no matter how difficult, even with nobody by your side."

To see everyone and everything through understanding. Love and acceptance. A blank canvas for others to place their troubles. Washing it away when it becomes full.

“I don't know why I just told you that”, he said looking at her.

“But it felt right for some reason.”